It’s not the believing God is who He says it is.
It’s not the believing He loves and cares about me.
Those aren’t the problem with faith.
It’s the not knowing!
The desire to know is the contamination of humanity dumped into a divine process. It is the loss of perspective caused by the need for control. It is the forgetting of what you already know and the focusing on what you do not.
Don’t know about you; but I want to know what’s going to happen. I want to know how it’s going to work out. I want to know God’s plan. And, as my desire to know grows, my faith recedes. It shrinks. And, when it does; so does God.
Sunday, Dee Dee and I were on a motorcycle ride. I’m smart enough to not point fingers, especially when it might point at my lovely wife; so I’m going to put this gently. One of the two of us on the motorcycle – me – had never been where we were going. One of the two of us on the motorcycle – not me – had been where we were going, once; but didn’t remember how to get there. Let’s just say we took the scenic route getting to our destination.
And, well, we were lost. To me, I should say, we were lost. I didn’t like being lost. Never have; never will!
But, that was to me. One of the things I love most about Dee Dee (and sometime hate the most) is her unique perspective of situations.
She calmly asked, “Do you know how to get us home from where we are?”
Of course, I did. I had just come from there. Saying so was my retention of manliness. It proved I still had some control of this situation. It avoided saying, “we were lost”; and since I was driving, it allowed me to avoid saying, “I’m lost!”
She nailed it!
It’s the same with faith. God is home! I get lost in wanting to know. I ask over and over again – Where am I going? How am I going to get there? What’s it going to take? When will it work out?
And, God says, “I’m home! I’m the place where safety and security exist. Turn around in your wandering and head toward me. When you get here; I’ll be waiting. Then, I’ll show you the way.”
There is one problem. It’s not little. It’s huge! It means letting go. God is telling me I have to trust Him. I don’t like it; not one bit! It takes away from me. Faith means admitting, “I don’t know! I don’t know how! I don’t know when!”
And, I don’t like it! I know He is God; but after all, I’m me. He’s the God of the Universe; but after all, I’m me. I know He knows everything; but after all, I’m me.
Being me should count for something, right? It does! It means more than anything; it makes sense to realize I’m lost all the time unless I find my way back home to God.
So, once again, my wife is not only beautiful, but right! (Man, that hurts to say!) I’m not lost. I know how to get back home to God. I just need to turn around and go back to Him. He’ll show me the way from there.